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During the Sun’s journey through Libra every year at this time, balance and fairness in relationship always become dominant themes in our collective psyche. This theme is especially empowered now by the relational intensity and focus on shared resources, control, and power as goddes of love Venus is in the underworld throes of Scorpio.

While the vlog I recently uploaded about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s divorce is about the astrological symbols behind the end of a marriage, I also wanted to share an important and surprising new finding about what makes relationships successful and sustainable. It all has to do with “intention” behind “attention.”adam11

The Power of Positivity

Of course, we all know that if we share some negative news or find ourselves in some emotional upheaval, we want and need support from our partners at that time. But some researchers have found that it is actually the response to good news that holds more currency for joy and connection in relationships.

According to an essay in Scientific American, researchers have found that couples who answered good news in an active-constructive way, demonstrating interest and positive reinforcement, scored higher on almost every measure of relationship satisfaction.  For instance, if I share with my partner a promotion that I receive at work and my partner responds with a negative statement, like “That sounds like a lot more work!” or even with a non-engaging statement, like “That’s great, now what’s for dinner,” this can be extremely damaging to our relationship.

We want an active-constructive response, to feel like our partner “gets” us and cares about not only our news, but our individual growth. Indifference or negativity can send us or them out the door quickly, while celebrating positive news can actually help couples remain together longer, and also tends to correspond with partnership in which fun is emphasized and conflicts are diminished.

Whether a first date or a long-term commitment, think about what good news your partner has shared with you and how you can enhance it and even rephrase it with another positive affirmation. This action represents the luminous pinnacle of the sign Libra and its gift for support and focus on our partner.