Many of us have snuck a peak at our Sun signs online and their compatibility with other signs—can those two stubborn but sensual beasts, Taurus and Leo, really endure for the long term? Could that intense Scorpio depth every mesh with that crazed and excited Gemini curiosity?

One of the challenges we find with this kind of study in astrological compatibility is that we are really only exploring the position of the Sun in the sky when you were born. But the Sun is only one of many planets—those heavenly bodies that actually describe different qualities and characteristics pulsing within each of us. Like the Sun itself, our zodiac Sun sign describes what traits we need to exhibit to feel vital, alive, and creative. Yet, most of us would agree that in a relationship, there are more essential factors to harmony, connection, and sustainability in a relationship.

For instance, feeling emotionally understood by our partner may be the most important factor to a happy and peaceful union.  Your Sun sign does not describe these fundamental emotional needs. Instead, your Moon sign describes the qualities you require in your life on a daily basis. We live and breathe our Moon sign as our center of security and inner stability. When we live with someone, our Moon sign will dominate our daily rhythms and how we react in most situations.  And if you have another planet opposite or square your Moon sign, that planet will act like a character inside of you bringing tension and irritation to your emotions. Thus, the story of your Moon in your birth chart reveals volumes about you as an emotional being and becomes vital information both for understanding and supporting your life partner.

In addition, the planet Venus—also known as Aphrodite—as the goddess of love. She represents what we find attractive in our life because we value it. A Venus in Sagittarius may value higher education and world travel without much responsibility, whereas a Venus in Cancer will value providing for a family, nurturing others, and creating a safe nest for those she cares for.

Even more interesting is that Venus represents a kind of costume a woman wears as her highest, or most preferred, expression of femininity. In other words, Venus represents the version of the Goddess any woman wants to be honored for. This is matched by the planet Mars in men, which symbolizes the the most preferred expression of masculinitiy in a man, qualities he wishes to be acknowledged and respected for. If Venus and Mars are at odds between two partner’s charts, there can be major challenges to what they find important in their relationship, how they wish to invest their time and energy, and how they express their affection and erotic desires.

Even by visiting just a few other planets in your birth chart—the Moon, Venus, and Mars—you can witness how important the study of astrology can be to revealing not only your patterns in your partnerships, but how to achieve a healthy, passionate, and truly intimate relationship.

To learn more about you and your partner’s versions of the God and Goddess, check out my online course for %75 off here: Love, Sex, and Relationship Success with Astrology: Honor Your Sacred Masculine and Feminine.